Three Shades of Autumn
by kestraTroi7
Summary: New chapter, new shade. Cameron and her relationships character study.
1. Chapter 1

**Three shades of autumn**

**Chapter One: Auburn**

**Disclaimer: I don't own House, MD or anything with it affiliated.**

A solitary figure, Allison was hunched over the unforgiving stone. She pressed her fingers to her lips and slid the slender digits along her husband's name engraved in the stone.

"You shouldn't have given up."

It was an unfair accusation coming from her, she knew. It had been her, who after many an exhausting day and night falling asleep by the side of his hospital bed, had ran away far from the hospital. Home. The next day she had returned before he'd awoken, but it had become increasingly more difficult to remain his embodiment of hope when she felt next to none herself. _My angel, my life, _he'd called her.

"I loved… I love you."

Pulling a rose from her jacket pocket, she laid it over the stone. He didn't like roses for the first six months. Thought they were feminine. Thought they were impersonal. A grieving family member had tearfully presented almost every patient who was in Oncology with roses at some point. That had changed though. October 22nd. While he was ill, Allison had been working during the day as a teacher's assistant in the primary school barely five minutes away. They had been placing the stem of flowers within various dyes, watching in amazement as the dye travelled up the xylem creating tinges and swirls of colour within the petals. While she cleaned up, she'd created one herself from a white rose, using blue and red dye. That flower he had marvelled at, treasured throughout its short lifespan, so she would go home every night and experiment with the dyes, combining colours, making sure that every evening he had a multicoloured rose by his bed. Something small, something personal. Something that was _his, _to remind him of all the people who cared.

"This one's yellow and pink. I know you don't like pink, but it looks more like red. It's one of my favourites."

Forcing a smile, she whispered again, "I love you."

She could almost hear his own weak response in her head. _Love you too, Allison. _Playful, but weak. Before every treatment, she'd said the three words to him. How many times was that in all? Too many to count. Too many for a man that would be dead in under a year. Too many times for her to ever get over this man she knew she loved.

Suddenly feeling all too constrained by the expectations of those around her, she pulled off her black jacket and shook out her hair, letting it fall free down her back like a train. A dreadfully mocking train, akin to the one affixed to her wedding gown.

Blinking away the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes, she unsteadily made her way back to the shelter of the trees that framed the field of stones.

Hints of sunlight flickered across and off her auburn hair. _It'll be okay. Become your own angel._

**A/N: I always liked Cameron. This story is for her and her relationships. This chapter is for her first husband. There will be three chapters in all.**

**Next chapter: House**


	2. Chapter 2

**Three Shades of Autumn**

**Chapter Two: Flaxen**

The ER certainly was a change. At first she hadn't been sure whether it was the right move. The thrill, the – how to put it? – high_, _she got from solving cases with _him _wasn't something she was willing to let go of. But… But Chase was worth it. He was a constant in her changing world.

Everything came and went so quickly now. Patients, treatments all went by in a blur. Days. Weeks. Months.

And _he _was still there. That almost omniscient presence within the hospital. They'd spoken several times. He'd nicked a couple of patients here and there that took his fancy, and his new team had been down and asked for pointers on how to keep on his good side.

His new team. The little guy, Taub. Knockout Thirteen. Kutner, with the ever-confused expression on his face. Is that all it took to replace them? _Her?_

Hire another beautiful doc? Check. Done.

More nice furnishings for the House. How lovely.

Ever since that night she'd quit, she had done everything she could to change. To not be that girl who was constantly enthralled by the genius mentor.

_The hair makes you look like a hooker. I like it. _She'd had to conceal a smile at that comment. It was so… House. It was almost like she was still on his team, and just tomorrow could come in and have another case on the table. Like old times.

"Allison?" Out of nowhere, Chase's voice registered from beside her.

She blinked to clear her head. "Mmm?"

They were standing in the hallway, just outside _his _office. Unknowingly, she'd paused as she caught _his _eye. What a brilliant blue hue they possessed.

"I've got a couple of minutes. Want to grab lunch?"

The spell between her and the man with the cane was broken. He looked away. Chase was blissfully ignorant, or so it seemed. She could expect a grilling later, in private.

"Sure." His mouth spread out in an easy grin.

She smiled back at Chase, the man she loved.

Right?

And she was over _him._

She was over House.

Sure.

_Everybody lies._

The flaxen length of her hair was reflected in the glass of his door as she turned on her heel and walked away, fading out more with each of her steps.

**A/N: Thanks miley-avril for reviewing :) I appreciate it.**

**Sorry I took so long to update. I hope you like this chapter. I'm quite happy with it.**

**Next chapter: Chase**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ebony**

Her steps were nimble as she walked to the pergola. Her slight heels clacked uncomfortably on the pavement. All she wanted was to rewind back to that moment, that _perfect _moment.

Her second wedding had been all she could have hoped for and more. And Chase had been wonderful.

So amazingly wonderful.

And yet… here she was, a year later, hopelessly reminiscing about the future she could have lost.

Making her way, she had to have passed a dozen elderly couples meandering the gardens, admiring the flower beds. That could have been her and Chase.

She couldn't tell anymore. Since he had demanded to know whether she loved him when they had been in that electrifying proximity of lockdown, to the wild sex they had shared after, to her sliding the door shut as she left for the final time, she couldn't tell anything.

Except that she loved him.

_Right?_

Of course.

Maybe she was just bad at it all. At all the love stuff, whatever it meant. For all her humane tendencies and pretences, she was as empty as many of their patients families after an unavoidable death.

Or maybe she had just missed all her chances. Granted, it had arguably been a lost cause with her first husband. House… it could have worked. She hadn't tried hard enough.

But Chase…

The climax was all wrong. It was supposed to be in the many years they shared. Not that single perfect day. Oh God, she was screwed up.

She shook off her jacket, letting the crinkled dress she was wearing underneath show. It was white too, like that day, albeit shorter. A stray tear making its way down her face, she let the ebony curls framing her face fall over her shoulders.

Wiping the tear away, she bent down to pick a flower by her feet. White too. Ironic.

She could hear the echo of her voice and his in her head.

_I do._

This time she didn't try to stop the tears from falling.

"Best time of my life." She choked out to the wildflowers.

They were all that would listen.

Because in spite of however much she wished it to be so, her perfect moment could never last.

Pulling her jet-black jacket back over her shoulders, she let her feet carry her back to the bus stop. As she walked an ebony strand of hair caught on the pergola and rippled in the wind. For the perfect memory.

**End.**

**A/N: In case it didn't make sense, the chapter titles were her hair colours. I came up with this idea that sounds good in theory that she changes her hair colour to change a part of herself and move on. I know she never changed her hair to black, but we never saw her after she and Chase divorced.**

**Anyway, that's it, so thanks for reading!**


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